Why doesn't desire last in committed relationships? And, why does intimacy spell erotic disaster?💔
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These are some of the questions Relationship Guru Esther Perel ponders in her book, Mating in Captivity. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Perel goes on to conclude that sameness and commonality is undesirable. Yet, differences can be a big turn on (because there is more attraction to find common ground to connect on).🔥✨
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Knowing all that that and being in a relationship in 2020 during a lockdown, it may be even more challenging to create difference and reignite that spark (especially when you are stuck in the same apartment together 24/7!!). 💫
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Here are four small action items you play with to reignite lust back in your partnership: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💫Take sex off the table for 1 week (Reason: we want what we can’t have). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💫Don't touch one another all day (Reason: make the ordinary desirable again). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💫Create a 20 min container each to tell your partner what it is you want from them non sexually (ex: 10 min eye gazing followed by a 10 min cuddle) and let the other say yes or no (Reason: to reestablish communication and wants)
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💫Putting in effort/ plan something nice like a nice dinner followed by a card game followed by a sexy bedroom w candles (Reason: bc that's what u used to do back in the good old days - don't leave it up to spontaneity otherwise it may not happen for a hell of a long time)! 💫Have fun with it!! .
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